10 Things Only Bad Bosses Say

A boss’s words carry enormous weight with the people he or she manages, and saying the wrong ones can destroy morale and motivation. Here are 10 of the most common phrases you might hear a bad manager say.

1. ‘You’re lucky to even have a job’

What they’re really saying here is: “You should be grateful that you’re employed during this bad job market and therefore shouldn’t complain about any conditions of your employment.” Bosses who think and say this don’t know how to deal with problems or feedback constructively.

2. ‘Just figure it out’

Saying this is both lazy and unkind. Even if you should be able to figure it out yourself, a good manager would say more politely: “This is something that I’d like you to handle yourself, using resources X,Y and Z.”

3. ‘I received an anonymous report..’

Managers do need to address problems told to them in confidence, but a skilled boss won’t focus on the anonymous report. Rather, he or she will concentrate on the problematic behavior.

4. ‘I don’t have time for your performance evaluation, but you’re doing fine’

Managing well means supplying thorough, nuanced feedback, and “you’re doing fine” doesn’t come close to cutting it. Employees deserve to know what they’re doing well, how they could do better and what they should develop.

5. ‘That’s a dumb idea’

Not every idea is a brilliant one, but a good boss knows that great ideas don’t come through if the staff is afraid of being insulted or shot down when brainstorming. Great ideas are born in environments where it’s safe to toss suggestions around, good or bad.

6. ‘That dress really flatters your figure’

Commenting on physical appearance – particularly someone’s figure – is a good way to make an employee uncomfortable. It also invites harassment complaints down the road.

7. ‘Just do what I tell you to do’

It might be faster to bark out orders without context or rationale. But that results in staff who don’t think beyond what’s required or feel ownership for their projects.

8. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

Feedback should never be personal. Good managers keep the focus on behavior that needs to change, but don’t make personal attacks on intelligence or worth.

9. ‘Your job is what I say it is’

Your job is what your boss says it is, but if you have a good manager, he or she will explain the circumstances when a role needs to broaden or change.

10. ‘You’re so much better at this than Bob is’

Putting down a staff member, even when it’s to compliment another, makes employees suspicious of which side of the compliment/insult they’ll fall on someday. Employees want to trust their managers to give feedback in private, not to make unflattering comments about them to co-workers.

10 Things Successful People Never Do

You know successful people create goals and rise early, but what about the things they avoid? In order to create good habits, you have to get rid of the bad ones. Here are 10 things you'll probably never see a successful person do:

1. Cry about not getting enough feedback

Younger generations, particularly Gen Y, thrive on feedback. Indeed, at any age level, being appreciated and knowing your work matters is important.

But successful people rarely pause long enough to notice their bosses aren't showering them with praise.

They're too busy getting things done and deriving value from their own internal sense of accomplishment.

While we all like to be patted on the back, the more you can separate your need to be valued from external cues, the better.

2. Try to take credit constantly

If you're worried about who did what and getting the credit you deserve, you're probably not as successful as you could be.

Employees on the leadership track work well on a team and aren't worried about being called out as "special."

Many employees, particularly those who are just starting out, overestimate the value of their contributions and feel shunted as a result.

More likely, your work was part of a larger team effort. Celebrate by showering praise on your teammates to find meaning and move up the ladder.

3. Break commitments

Busy as a top boss might be, they rarely break a promise. That doesn't mean they won't shuffle around a meeting on you, but the word "cancel" is not usually in a leader's vocabulary.

Leaders tend to be quite open about seeing opportunity in every interaction and believe keeping the commitments they've made to others is paramount. It's how they earn respect, credibility and trust.

4. Take off work when sick

Whether you believe in work-life balance or not, you rarely see upper management taking off work when they don't feel good. What gives?

Well, these leaders want to be at work. Stressful as it may be, successful people enjoy their jobs.

When they become ill, their choice is to either sit on the couch in front of their television or sit at the office in front of their computer.

Most will choose the latter. Despite the contagion factor, working while sick is commonplace among successful types unless they truly can't get out of bed.

5. Fail to see the whole picture

You might be annoyed at another's team lack of follow-through, but leaders see the whole picture.

They know the problems the other team is experiencing are common and just a part of building a company.

Your inability to put yourself in the other team's shoes, along with your inexperience, is likely coloring your frustration.

Next time you get upset, take a step back and see if you can get a broader look at the issues going on.

Could it be that you're not as smart as you thought and everyone really is doing his and her best to keep that project moving?

6. Become resentful or jealous

Real leaders don't hide from a competitors -- they learn from them. And great employees don't shy away from impressive colleagues -- they embrace them.

If you're wondering why all the attention is going to your new co-worker instead of you, find ways to support and celebrate that person. Don't pout in a corner.

When we resent the actions or behavior of others, we don't have enough energy to succeed in on our own work.

7. Ask for too little

If there's one thing that's holding workers back across the country, it's that they're asking for too little. Instead of getting paid what they are worth, instead of getting the top dollar deals and instead of creating powerful partnerships, they're settling.

But successful people know how to ask for what they want. Whether it's for a raise, a sweeter deal or an introduction to an important figure, leaders don't shy away from potential moments of discomfort.

Instead of accepting what's handed out, successful people do everything they can to control the outcome.

8. Say "it's not my job"

Just because your job description doesn't include aiding the technical team or staying late for a project launch doesn't mean it isn't your job.

Successful employees don't work in isolation; they constantly seek opportunities to be useful and create value.

When you chip in and work as a team, you learn and understand more about the business and your colleagues.

With understanding comes empathy and efficiency, allowing you to enjoy going to work in the morning.

9. Try to do it all

You can't have it all -- at least not all at once. Successful people understand this and take pains to delegate and shine the light on others.

When we try to do too much, we are usually trying to prove something -- that we are the best, that we can win, that we can do it.

But leaders know this is impossible. Successful people are adept at letting go and distributing the weight of a project among others.

This means trusting and believing in your colleagues' work ethic as much as your own.

10. Delegate only boring work

Instead of trying to prove something about yourself, hand off some of the fun, creative work to the interns and watch them thrive.

It's incredibly rewarding to nurture new talent and successful people know that in order to build something meaningful and important, they can't hold onto all the "good" work themselves.

Behind the scenes, leaders are checking off a whole lot of boring tasks, because when you do what no one else wants to do, you become indispensable.

So

If you can avoid these 10 things on the road to success, you may find your journey a bit more rewarding, triumphant and meaningful.

Rebecca Healy is the founder of Kontrary, a different take on money and happiness that helps you take control of your work and life. She lives in Washington, DC.