Friday, April 27, 2012

Fame Came At A High Price – Their Life

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These are people who would undoubtedly prefer to have lived without fame than lose their lives to achieve immortality in history.

Nathan Hale
June 6, 1755 – September 22, 1776


Nathan Hale was an officer for the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War. Widely considered America’s first spy, he volunteered for an intelligence-gathering mission, but was captured by the British. He is best remembered for his speech before being hanged following the Battle of Long Island, in which he reportedly said, “I only regret that I have but one life to give my country.” Hale has long been considered an American hero and, in 1985, he was officially designated the state hero of Connecticut.

James Bulger
16 March 1990 – 12 February 1993


James Bulger was the victim of abduction and murder. His killers were two 10-year-old boys, Jon Venables and Robert Thompson. The murder took place in Merseyside, England. James disappeared from the New Strand Shopping Centre, where he had been with his mother Denise, on 12 February 1993 and his mutilated body was found on a railway line at Bootle on 14 February. As the circumstances surrounding the death became clear, tabloid newspapers compared the killers with Myra Hindley and Ian Brady who had committed the Moors Murders during the 1960s. They denounced the people who had seen Bulger but not realized the trouble he was in. The railway embankment upon which his body had been discovered was flooded with hundreds of bunches of flowers.

Crispus Attucks
c. 1723 – March 5, 1770


Was one of five people killed in the Boston Massacre in Boston, Massachusetts. He has been frequently named as the first martyr of the American Revolution and is the only person killed in the Boston Massacre whose name is commonly remembered. Although little is known for certain about Attucks, including his ethnicity, the possibility that he was African American or Native American has elevated him to an important symbolic status in U.S. history.

In the early 19th century, as the Abolitionist movement gained momentum in Boston, Attucks was lauded as an example of a black American who played a heroic role in the history of the United States. Because Crispus Attucks may also have had Wampanoag Indian ancestors, his story also holds special significance for many Native Americans.

Casey Jones
March 14, 1863 – April 30, 1900


John Luther “Casey” Jones was an American railroad engineer from Jackson, Tennessee who worked for the Illinois Central Railroad (IC). On April 30, 1900 he alone was killed when his passenger train collided with a stopped freight train at Vaughan, Mississippi on a foggy and rainy night. His dramatic death trying to stop his train and save lives made him a railroad icon who became immortalized in a popular ballad sung by his friend Wallace Saunders, an African American engine wiper for the IC. Due to the enduring popularity of this classic song, he has been the world’s most famous railroad engineer for over a century.

Horst Wessel
October 9, 1907 – February 23, 1930


Horst Ludwig Wessel (October 9, 1907 – February 23, 1930) was a German Nazi activist who was made a posthumous hero of the Nazi movement following his violent murder in 1930. He was the author of the lyrics to the song “Die Fahne hoch” (“Raise High the Flag”), usually known as Horst-Wessel-Lied (“the Horst Wessel Song”), which became the Nazi Party anthem and Germany’s official co-national anthem from 1933 to 1945. The song was banned along with all other Nazi symbols in 1945, and both the lyrics and tune remain illegal in Germany to this day. The clip above shows the song being sung at the Nuremberg Congress.

Edward Slovik
February 18, 1920 – January 31, 1945


Edward Donald Slovik was a private in the United States Army during World War II and the only American soldier to be executed for desertion since the American Civil War. Although over twenty-one thousand soldiers were given varying sentences for desertion during World War II—including forty-nine death sentences—only Slovik’s death sentence was carried out. Slovik was charged with desertion to avoid hazardous duty and court martialed on November 11, 1944. The prosecutor, Captain John Green, presented witnesses to whom Slovik had stated his intention to “run away.” The defense counsel, Captain Edward Woods, announced that Slovik had elected not to testify. The nine officers of the court found Slovik guilty and sentenced him to death.

On December 9, Slovik wrote a letter to the Supreme Allied commander, General Dwight D. Eisenhower, pleading for clemency. However, desertion had become a problem, and Eisenhower confirmed the execution order on December 23. The execution by firing squad was carried out at 10:04 a.m. on January 31, 1945, near the village of Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines. Slovik was twenty-four years old.

John Birch
May 8, 1918 – August 25, 1945


John Morrison Birch was an American Military Intelligence Officer and a Baptist Missionary in World War II who was shot by armed supporters of the Communist Party of China. Some politically conservative groups within the United States consider him to be a martyr and the first victim of the Cold War. The John Birch Society, formed thirteen years after his death, is named in honor of him.

Birch is known today mainly by the society that bears his name. His name is on the bronze plaque of a World War II monument at the top of Coleman Hill Park overlooking downtown Macon, along with the names of other Macon men who lost their lives while serving in the military. Birch has a plaque on the sanctuary of the First Southern Methodist Church of Macon, which was built on land given by his family, purchased with the money John sent home monthly. Pictured above is Robert Welch, chief organizer of the John Birch society.

J D Tippit
September 18, 1924 – November 22, 1963


J. D. Tippit was a police officer with the Dallas, Texas Police Department who, according to numerous witnesses and multiple government investigations including the Warren Commission, was shot and killed by Lee Harvey Oswald after Tippit stopped Oswald following the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

At approximately 1:11–1:14 p.m. on the day of the assassination, Tippit was driving slowly in an easterly direction on East 10th Street in Oak Cliff. Tippit pulled up alongside Oswald, who was walking in the same direction. Oswald then walked over to Tippit’s car, and apparently exchanged words with him. Tippit opened the door on the left side and started to walk around the front of his car. As he reached the front wheel on the driver’s side, Oswald drew a revolver and fired several shots in rapid succession, hitting Tippit three times in the chest. He then walked up to Tippit’s fallen body and shot him directly in the head, killing him instantly.

Mary Jo Kopechne
July 26, 1940 – July 18, 1969


Mary Jo Kopechne was an American teacher, secretary and administrator, who died in a car accident in Chappaquiddick Island while being driven by United States Senator Ted Kennedy. On July 18, 1969, Kopechne attended a party on Chappaquiddick Island, off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts, held in honor of the “Boiler Room Girls.” This affectionate name was given to the six young women who had been vital to the late Robert Kennedy’s presidential campaign and who had subsequently closed up his files and campaign office after his assassination.

Kopechne left the party at 11:15 p.m. with Kennedy after he allegedly offered to drive her to catch the last ferry back to the Katama Shores Motor Inn in Edgartown where she was staying. Kennedy stated, on his way to the ferry crossing back to Edgartown, that he accidentally turned right onto Dike Road – a dirt road – instead of bearing sharply left on Main Street. After proceeding one-half mile, he descended a hill and came upon a narrow bridge set obliquely to the unlit road. Kennedy drove the 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88 belonging to him, off the side of Dyke Bridge, and the car overturned into Poucha Pond. Kennedy extricated himself from the submerged car but Kopechne died.

Leno and Rosemary LaBianca
Both died: August 10, 1969


Pasqualino Antonio “Leno” LaBianca and his wife Rosemary LaBianca were victims of the Manson Family murders famously known as the Tate LaBianca murders. Charles Manson, the leader of the Manson “family,” orchestrated the murders for the sake of Helter Skelter, an apocalyptic war he believed would arise from tension over racial relations between blacks and whites. The four “family” members who had participated in the Tate murders, Charles “Tex” Watson, Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkel and Linda Kasabian, were again summoned by Manson along with Leslie Van Houten and Steve Grogan aka Clem Tufts. Manson ordered Kasabian to cruise the neighborhoods of Los Angeles, in search of potential victims, before settling on the home of the LaBiancas.

Sometime during the early morning hours of August 10, 1969, Manson family members entered the LaBianca house and murdered the couple. The girls wrote messages in Leno’s blood. “Death to pigs” and “Rise” were written on the living room wall, and “Healter Skelter” [sic] was written on the refrigerator. After the murders, the family members remained at the house. Some ate food from the LaBianca’s refrigerator, played with the couple’s dogs and showered before hitchhiking back to the Spahn Ranch.

Tragic Celebrity Suicides

Most of us go through a stage where we become depressed but, luckily for us, we’ve either found better ways to deal with our issues or we’ve had a support group we were able to turn to. For some of us the phase just passed. For some people, though, the phase doesn’t end, they feel there is no one to turn to and there are no escapes. This list is intended to discuss the celebrities who have committed suicide and whose death was either unknown, not widely acknowledged or forgotten.

Peg Entwistle
February 5, 1908 – September 16, 1932


Peg Entwistle may be the oldest on the list but her story certainly isn’t the least interesting. Born in Port Talbot, Wales, UK, her dream, like so many others, was to become an actress. She started out on Broadway and went on to be known as a comedienne. Her last film was called “Thirteen Women” and, apparently, received very poor reviews. Upset by the comments of the critics, as well as the greatly reduced screen time featuring her, Peg walked up the hill featuring the famous Hollywood sign, climbed atop it and jumped off. Strangely enough, the following day a letter came in the mail for Entwistle offering her a role in a play about a woman who commits suicide.

Dana Plato
November 7, 1963 – May 8, 1999


Dana Plato was born in Moore, Oklahoma, and was best known for her role as Kimberley on “Diff’rent Strokes”. She was let go from the show because of an unplanned pregnancy. Not able to reach the status she wanted, she became involved in darker pastimes, and was arrested for armed robbery in 1991. She got breast implants and appeared in “Playboy” in the hopes of regaining stardom. She later moved in to films of a more erotic nature. She appeared on “The Howard Stern Show” the day before her death and claimed she had been sober for 10 years. Callers called to defend her and commend her on turning her life around, but Dana went on to overdose on pills the following day in a vehicle outside of her fiancé’s mothers’ house. Sadly, Dana’s son also committed suicide last month (May, 2010).

Andrew Koenig
August 17, 1968 – February 2010


Andrew Koenig was best known as the character “Boner” on the sitcom hit “Growing Pains”, which was one of my favorites as a kid. He also played The Joker in a short film based on the “Batman” series, but otherwise didn’t have too much of an extensive resume. Koenig was said to mostly enjoy working behind the scenes and he was deeply involved in human rights. In February 2010 Koenig went to Canada to see the Olympics and never returned. He was later found hanged in Vancouver.

Jonathan Brandis
April 13, 1976 – November 12, 2003


Jonathan Brandis was born in Danbury, Connecticut, and began his film career at age 5. He starred in one of my favorite childhood films “The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter”, as well as the film “Ladybugs”, with the late Rodney Dangerfield. Although those movies formed my biggest impression of him, it seems Brandis was most known for his role on “SeaQuest”, a television show created by Stephen Spielberg. It is in SeaQuest that he became a teen idol. Friends of the actor said he seemed to be depressed about his lack of a career, despite the fact that he was working on a film in his directorial debut, as well as other promising things in the works. Jonathan Brandis hanged himself on the evening of November 11th and died in the hospital the next day.

Elliott Smith
August 6, 1969 – October 21, 2003


Elliott Smith was born in Omaha, Nebraska, and lived for a long time in Portland, Oregon. Elliott had a gift for creating music that took you to another place and his voice was totally unique. He was best known for having a large role in the creation of the soundtrack for “Good Will Hunting”, and for an Academy Award nomination for his song “Miss Misery”. Elliott had had suicidal tendencies before, having tried to jump off a cliff while drunk, only to have a tree break his fall. While in Portland he began to dabble in drugs. Following an argument with his girlfriend in late October, Smith was found in the kitchen with a knife in his chest after his girlfriend heard him scream. Elliott Smith died at 1:36 P.M.

Brynn Hartman
April 11, 1958 – May 22, 1998


This was a widely publicized story that happened quite some time ago. Brynn Hartman was the third wife of famous actor and comedian Phil Hartman and the third time, in this case, was anything but a charm. Most of us will recognize Phil Hartman from the long running television show “Saturday Night Live”, where actors are known to improv a lot of their lines. Brynn was a former model who had a history of drug and alcohol abuse throughout their marriage, as well as behavioral problems. No-one knows if it was their two children, or Phil’s undying love for Brynn, but he was determined to make this marriage work. It ended up costing him his life. On the evening of May 27, Brynn and Phil had one of many arguments about her drug usage.

Phil then went to sleep, and was later shot by a high and intoxicated Brynn. Brynn then confessed the murder to two people before she shooting herself in the head, taking her own life. Phil was shot twice in the head and once in the side and is believed to have died instantly. There was speculation that Andy Dick had provided Brynn Hartman with the cocaine she took that night, spawning her psychotic behavior, but he denies those claims to this day.

Paula Goodspeed
1971 – 2008


Any readers who watch “American Idol” are sure to be familiar with Paula Goodspeed. Paula was a devoted fan of “American Idol” and especially of Paula Abdul. She had auditioned to be on the show to meet her idol and in the hopes of becoming infamous. She achieved infamy, but sadly for the wrong reasons. It was said that because of her outlandish fashion and flat audition she was rejected, and that she was ridiculed for having braces.

Five months later Goodspeed would write on a social networking website that auditioning may have been a mistake and that reading fans comments about her were hurtful. As a consequence of her very serious crush on Paula (Goodspeed identified as being gay), an audition gone wrong, rejection and cruel remarks from her peers, Paula Goodspeed was found outside the home of Paula Abdul having killed herself with an overdose on prescription pills.

Ryan Jenkins
February 8, 1977 – August 23, 2009


I’m sure that on this one some may argue this person’s status as a celebrity because they only starred on reality television. Although it’s not nearly the same in status, I am absolutely addicted to reality television, so it’s enough for me. This awful event took place quite recently and although the reasons behind the act are difficult to hear, it was certainly bizarre and shocking enough to bear noting. Ryan Jenkins was a Canadian, born in British Columbia, who was also a self-made millionaire.

He appeared on the popular VH1 show “Megan Wants a Millionaire” and went on later to star on “I Love Money”. He won the first place prize, along with $250,000 dollars. “Megan Wants a Millionaire” stopped airing after only a few episodes and “I Love Money” never aired, following the discovery on August 15, 2009 of the body of Jasmine Fiore. She was a former model who met Ryan in a Las Vegas casino, married him two days later and was brutally killed shortly thereafter.

Fiore was found in a suitcase with no teeth and her fingers had been cut off. She had been strangled, and her body had been crushed, mutilated and beaten. Had she not had breast implants her identity might never have been discovered. Five days later, after an intense search had begun, Jenkins hanged himself with a belt in the room of a motel in Canada.

Mary Kay Bergman
June 5, 1961 – November 11, 1999


I’m sure that everyone on this site is familiar with the popular hit “Southpark”, but maybe not so familiar with this leading lady who contributed to making this show so beloved. Mary Kay Bergman was born in Los Angeles, California, to Jewish parents and was a self-proclaimed nerd. Science fiction and fantasy were two main passions of hers, but she had always been an avid fan of Disney. She not only voiced the parts of Ms. Cartman and Wendy on “Southpark”, but she also was the voice of Timmy Turner in “The Fairly Oddparents” and was the official voice of Snow White for Disney.

Bergman had been married for 9 years (a big accomplishment to some, including myself), seemed happy. Until her death, no one had known that she had suffered from chronic and acute depression for a multitude of years, despite having reached many of her goals and achieving a dream profession. Sadly though, on a Thursday night Mary Kay Bergman shot herself in the head. She was found an hour and 20 minutes later by her husband and friend, along with two suicide notes that have not yet been released.

Ruslana Korshunova
July 2, 1987 – June 28, 2008


Ruslana Korshunova happened to be a Kazakh supermodel that had a Russian heritage. She had posed in Vogue and had represented designers such as Vera Wang and Nina Ricci. She was discovered in 2003 and was immediately distinguished by her long, knee-length, chestnut colored hair. Part of what made her suicide so bizarre was the method she chose. June 28, somewhere around 2:30 P.M., Ruslana “fell” out of her ninth-floor balcony, after having watched the movie “Ghost” with a former boyfriend in Manhattan.

Friends have said that she was usually a cheerful person and had never shown any signs of distress or feelings of failure, although there were things written on some social networking sites that seemed to suggest otherwise. She at one time stated “Death is a celebration of life…there is hope” and “I’m so lost. Will I ever find myself?” Ruslana Korshunova’s death was ruled as a suicide because the police could find no other witnesses. However, something odd that was noticed at the time of her death was that her trademark hair was considerably shorter, and looked as if it had been cut in haste.

Unfamiliar Badasses You Haven’t Heard

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History is full of badasses, and it is very hard to rank them, so here we are ranking by reverse chronological order. Enjoy the list and be sure to mention other badasses in the comments. This list was inspired by the book “Badass” by Ben Thompson which contains a chapter on each of the characters below as well as dozens more.

Bhanbhagta Gurung
September 1921 – 1 March 2008


Bhanbhagta Gurung was from Nepal and for his actions of one day in World War II he received the Victoria Cross – the highest honor available to British and Commonwealth soldiers. The best way to appreciate Gurung’s true badassity is to read what the London papers said of his deeds: “On 5 March, 1945, at Snowdon-East, near Tamandu, Burma (now Myanmar), Gurung and his unit were approaching Snowdon-East. His company became pinned down by an enemy sniper and were suffering casualties. As this sniper was inflicting casualties on the section, Rifleman Bhanbhagta Gurung, being unable to fire from the lying position, stood up fully exposed to the heavy fire and calmly killed the enemy sniper with his rifle, thus saving his section from suffering further casualties. [And then it really gets badass:]

“The section advanced again but came under heavy fire once again. Without waiting for orders, Gurung dashed out to attack the first enemy fox-hole. Throwing two grenades, he killed the two occupants and without any hesitation rushed on to the next enemy fox-hole and killed the Japanese in it with his bayonet. He cleared two further fox-holes with bayonet and grenade. “During his single-handed attacks on these four enemy fox-holes, Rifleman Bhanbhagta Gurung was subjected to almost continuous and point-blank Light Machine Gun fire from a bunker on the North tip of the objective.” For the fifth time, Gurung “went forward alone in the face of heavy enemy fire to knock out this position. He doubled forward and leapt on to the roof of the bunker from where, his hand grenades being finished, he flung two No. 77 smoke grenades into the bunker slit.” Gurung killed two Japanese soldiers who ran out of the bunker with his Kukri, and then advanced into the cramped bunker and killed the remaining Japanese soldier.”

Jack Churchill
16 September 1906 – 8 March 1996


Now here is a man everyone should know about – he truly typifies badassness and bravery. Nicknamed “Fighting Jack Churchill” and “Mad Jack”, he was an English soldier who fought throughout World War II armed with just a longbow, arrows and a claymore (sword). He once said “any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed.” Remember that during this war he was basically using a sword and a bow and arrow against men with tanks and machine guns. He is the only soldier to have killed an enemy with an arrow in the war. And in true quirky British style, not only did he fight the good fight – he would rouse the troops with a merry tune on his bagpipes, as he was an expert piper and always took them with him to battle.

In his most awesome moment, Churchill led a team of commandos into enemy lines playing “Will Ye No Come Back Again?” on his bagpipes. He was the only member of the group that made it to the objective alive – everyone else was killed around him. Perhaps the Germans liked his playing too much to kill him. When the war ended and the world celebrated, Churchill was not happy. He is recorded as saying: “If it wasn’t for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!” In retirement he took up surfing in Australia before returning to England to live. In the photograph above you can see Churchill on the right with sword in hand.

Agustina of Aragon
March 4, 1786 – May 29, 1857


Agustina de Aragón was a Spanish heroine who defended Spain during the Spanish War of Independence, first as a civilian and later as a professional officer in the Spanish Army. So badass were her actions that she became known as “the Spanish Joan of Arc”. When war broke out in 1808, in her small Spanish town, she took a basket of apples to feed the gunners. When she arrived she saw the Spanish soldiers take heavy losses to the French army, causing the Spaniards to flee.

Instead of running away, Agustina ran to the cannons and began to defend the town on her own. The sight of her doing this gave the Spaniards the courage to return and help. After a bloody struggle, the French gave up the assault on Zaragosa and abandoned their siege for a few short weeks, before returning to fight their way into the city, house-by-house which ultimately won them the town. After being captured by the French, she was imprisoned but she subsequently mounted a daring escape and became a low-level rebel leader for the guerrilleros, helping to organize raids and attacks that harassed the French.

On June 21, 1813, she acted as a front line battery commander at the Battle of Vitoria, under the command of Major Cairncross. This battle was to see the French Army that had occupied Spain effectively smashed beyond repair and driven out. She eventually married a doctor and lived the rest of her life in peace, proudly wearing her battle medals.

Miyamoto Musashi
1584 – 1645


Miyamoto Musashi was a kensei – a sword saint. In Japan, this word was used to refer to someone so badass with their sword that they were believed to posses preternatural abilities. Miyamoto Musashi was about the best example of this, ever. In his lifetime he fought over 60 duels, and won them all. He was trained in swordsmanship at the Yoshioka ryu school – a school he later singlehandedly destroyed.

His first duel was at the age of thirteen and after that he basically wandered the country fighting as many people as possible, regardless of the weapon they wielded. At the age of thirty he had his most famous duel, against Sasaki Kojirō (The Demon of the Western Provinces). Sasaki Kojirō, fighting with a two handed sword, was defeated very quickly by Musashi, who fought with a little wooden staff, he carved in the boat on his way to the fight. Sick of fighting (and suffering from ill health) he retired to a cave to live as a hermit and write books. He died kneeling, with one hand on his sword and the other on his walking stick.

Tomoe Gozen
1157 – 1247


Two words sum up this amazing woman: concubine, warrior. Tomoe Gozen was an extremely rare thing: a female samurai warrior. Here is what a historical account of her says: “Tomoe was especially beautiful, with white skin, long hair, and charming features. She was also a remarkably strong archer, and as a swordswoman she was a warrior worth a thousand, ready to confront a demon or a god, mounted or on foot. She handled unbroken horses with superb skill; she rode unscathed down perilous descents. Whenever a battle was imminent, Yoshinaka sent her out as his first captain, equipped with strong armor, an oversized sword and a mighty bow; and she performed more deeds of valor than any of his other warriors.” High praise indeed for a male dominated nation, in the 13th century. This warrior woman was also a concubine of Minamoto no Yoshinaka, a revered Japanese general. When he was defeated on the battle field, the sexist pig told Tomoe to leave as he would be ashamed to die with a woman. She went on to behead many, slaughter many, and retire to a quiet life as a nun.

Harald Hardrada
1015 – September 25, 1066


Harald was the youngest of Saint King Olaf II of Norway’s three half-brothers, born to Åsta Gudbrandsdatter. After King Cnut killed his brother Saint Olaf (while Harald was a mere 15 years old), he went off to Constantinople and made himself rich. He then took the opportunity to join the most feared mercenary army, (the Byzantine Vanguard) and began working (or rather cleaving) his way through various armies at the paid request of various European kings. Over his lifetime Harald went on to battle anywhere he could – Europe, the Middle East and Jerusalem. He even managed to take a bit of time out to marry Princess Elisabeth of Russia.

Eventually, Harald became the King of Norway (after the young illegitimate King Magnus mysteriously died). Not being content to rule just one country, he spent years trying to conquer Denmark (much to everyone’s annoyance – in Denmark and in Norway). He finally decided to put his energies elsewhere, which was to be his downfall, but the main reason that history remembers him – he decided to conquer England. Alas, his attempts to take England failed and his army was smashed by that of King Harold Godwinson. Harald was the last great Viking king of Norway, and his invasion of England, and death at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066, marked the end of the Viking age and beginning of the High Middle Ages.

Ulf The Quarrelsome
11th Century AD


Ulf (which means wolf) the Quarrelsome was a brutal Irish Warrior and brother of High King Brian Boru (pictured above). He despised the vikings because they murdered his mother while he was young. While King Brian made a name for himself by uniting Ireland, Ulf made a name for himself by whacking people over the head with a giant battle axe. The union of Ireland put an end to the Scandinavian power over the nation of small states and kingdoms, but some people weren’t too keen about the new state of affairs and they rebelled – with the help of thousands of vikings. It was the famous Battle of Clontarf, in 1014, that Ulf really showed his badassness.

After almost singlehandedly destroying the viking rebels, Ulf came upon Bróðir of Man – one of the nastiest vikings around (and a sorcerer to boot). Here is Njals saga’s account of how Ulf ended the life of Bróðir – in revenge for killing his brother, King Brian: “Ulf the Quarrelsome cut open his belly, and led him round and round the trunk of a tree, and so wound all his entrails out of him, and he did not die before they were all drawn out of him.”

The Surena
84–52 BC


The Surena (a general) was born into the Surena family who had, for generations, protected the Kings of Parthia (found in Modern day Iran), but it was the general who cemented the family name in the books of history. By all accounts he was the hottest guy in town, the strongest, the manliest and the deadliest – and was obviously such a badass that he is known only as THE Surena. When King Hydrodes was overthrown and expelled from Parthia, the Surena led the mission to recapture the Kingdom. He also had a huge harem of concubines, which took two hundred wagons to transport, that travelled with him everywhere – including on military campaigns.

When Crassus stupidly decided to take over the Parthian Empire at the battle of Carrhae, he was brutally put down in one of the most embarrassing trounces of the Roman Army ever, by the Surena and his men. When offered the chance to surrender, Crassus told his men to flee and consequently sent them all to their deaths as the Surena chased them down and killed the lot of them. Crassus was personally beheaded by the Surena and had molten gold poured down his neck. Oh – and did I mention that the Surena was a cross-dresser? Well, not quite, but this is what Plutarch said of him: “[He was] the tallest and finest looking man himself, but the delicacy of his looks and effeminacy of his dress did not promise so much manhood as he really was master of; or his face was painted, and his hair parted after the fashion of the Medes.”

Chandragupta Maurya
340 BC – 298 BC


Chandragupta Maurya, born in Bihar, Eastern India, was an orphaned commoner who changed the face of India and forever altered its history, by clawing his way from the slums to forging one of the most expansive Empires in India’s history. Not only did he command nine thousand war elephants, fifty million people and an army of thirty-six thousand – he also had one of the most badass (and awesome) bodyguard units ever. His personal bodyguard unit was made of up more than five hundred Greek and Indian warrior women. In order to destroy the Nanda empire, Maurya simply grabbed a bronze sword and singlehandedly stormed the palace. He was captured and jailed, but escaped – further cementing his place in history as a badass. Ultimately, he went on to destroy the ruling dynasty and put into place the long lasting Maurya dynasty.

Great Philanthropists Who Are Kids

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Fortunately, it’s easy to get out of this frame of mind and back to reality. There are some great kids out there doing some great things.

How could they not be? They’re bombarded by influences seemingly determined to rob them of all innocence and feeling for their fellow man.

Better U


Someday a better writer will make a new list of young philanthropists, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the kids on it were involved with the Be Better U Dream Ranch, which helps children learn and teach other kids about philanthropy. If you or your child are in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, and are interested in child-led philanthropy programs, go to their website and see if you’d like to help out.

Harry Moseley



Harry Moseley is a nine-year-old from Sheldon, Birmingham, UK. He lives with an inoperable brain tumor, but this hasn’t stopped him from making and selling beaded bracelets for Brain Tumour UK. His bracelets are now available in over 30 shops across Britain, and so far he’s raised over £15,000.

Harry also gives PowerPoint presentations to school kids, and encourages them to set up bracelet making clubs. Harry’s system gives 15p from every bracelet sold to the kids’ school and the rest goes to Brain Tumour UK. Harry started his fundraising efforts after an elderly friend in the hospital bed next to him died from their shared condition.

When presented with the 2010 ‘Britain’s Kindest Kid’ award, reports say Harry was “speechless” and “gobsmacked”. He plans to give £200 each to his brother and sister and spend the rest on a wooden playhouse in the garden where he can make bracelets. He dedicated his prize to his late friend Robert Harley.

Zach Bonner



After hurricane Charlie hit Florida in 2005, Zach Bonner collected water bottles in his neighborhood using a little red wagon. By the end of the charity drive, he had 27 truckloads of aid. And he was just getting started.

In 2007, Zach began a three-stage “My House to the White House” charity march, to raise money for homeless children. In Stage 1, he walked 280 miles from Tampa to Tallahassee, Florida. In stage 2, he walked 250 miles from Tallahassee to Atlanta, Georgia. In the last leg of the trip, he walked 668 miles from Atlanta to Washington, DC. His most serious test came when his grandmother died, and the 11-year-old was forced to choose between finishing the walk or attending her funeral. He continued the trek and dedicated the march in her honor. All monies were split between a playground for an emergency foster care shelter in Tampa, and the Sasha Bruce Youthwork, which helps runaways and homeless kids in Washington, DC.
In 2010 Zach’s ‘March Across America” took him 2,448 miles from Tampa to Los Angeles, culminating in a meeting with Elton John, who contributed $25,000 to the Little Red Wagon Foundation.

Timothy Hwang and Minsoo Han



In 2007, Timothy Hwang and Minsoo Han started Operation Fly, when they were only 14 years old. Their non-profit business offers cut-rate tutoring services to inner city students, and then uses the revenues to distribute blankets, clothing and soap to Washington DC’s homeless. Their organization has since spread to five cities, involves over 800 volunteers and is entirely student-run. For his efforts, Ernst & Young and Junior Achievement named Timothy Hwang the 2009 Youth Entrepreneur of the Year for the Greater Washington Region.

Mackenzie Bearup



Mackenzie Bearup is a 16-year-old girl with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, a medical condition that makes cold weather, wind and vibrations excruciatingly painful. She found relief in books, and reads constantly. Then she learned of a residential treatment center that needed books for its library, and began soliciting donations. Mackenzie’s book drives have since donated over 50,000 books to treatment centers in Georgia and neighboring states, and Nestle gave her their 2009 ‘Best in Youth’ award.

Her altruism appears to be a good tonic as well: since starting her volunteer work, Mackenzie has maintained a 4.0 GPA in gifted and talented classes. She also plays harp in an orchestra, and has performed at charity events, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes.

Brittany and Robbie Berquist



Brittany and Robbie Bergquist (12 and 13, respectively) learned of a soldier who racked up an $8000 cell phone bill by calling his family from Iraq. They decided to pay the soldier’s phone bill and brought $21 to the bank to start an account. The bank manager was so impressed he added an additional $500. This encouraged them to keep trying.

The kids then held car washes and bake sales, but then decided on recycling used cell phones. With help from volunteers, they set up drop-off sites across the USA, and used the proceeds to buy prepaid phone cards for troops overseas. To date their ‘Cell Phones for Soldiers” program has collected 7.5 million phones and provided military personnel with over 90 million minutes’ worth of pre-paid airtime.

Phoebe Russell



5-year-old Phoebe Russell needed to complete a community service project before she could graduate from kindergarten. Uninterested in a lemonade stand, she saw a homeless man begging for food and decided to raise $1,000 for the San Francisco Food Bank. Her teacher tried to lower expectations to something more reasonable, but Phoebe’s heartwarming appeal to leave soda cans and donations at the school snowballed. Before she knew it, Phoebe had raised $3,736.30– the equivalent of 17,800 heated meals.

Jordan Somer


Jordan Somer is a Nebraska teen who founded the “Miss Amazing” pageant, an event for girls and women coping with physical and mental disabilities. The event focuses on all participants gaining confidence and revealing their true beauty. Jordan started the event in 2006, as a way to combine her own pageant experience with her Special Olympics volunteer work. Jordan recently received Teen Nickelodeon’s Halo Award, and hopes to use the $25,000 grant to expand the pageant nationally.

Cameron Cohen



Cameron Cohen was 11-years old when he was stuck at home with a hip-to-toe brace following bone tumor surgery. Instead of playing Halo or watching Spongebob, Cameron spent his downtime learning software development. He then used his mad skillz to design ‘iSketch’, a drawing program now available on the iPhone App Store. Cameron donates a portion of his earnings to purchase electronic and entertainment items for other pre-teens to enjoy during their hospitalization.

Olivia Bouler



Olivia Bouler is an 11-year-old artist who has raised over $200,000 for the National Audubon Society, which is hard at work rescuing birds affected by the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

It all started when Olivia saw the oil spill on TV. Not knowing how to help, she wrote a letter to the Audubon Society, offering to sell her illustrations to raise money for cleanup costs. Then she hit upon the idea of just giving her drawings to anyone who donated to wildlife recovery efforts. Media outlets caught wind of her offer and the donations came flooding in. She’s made 150 illustrations so far, and shows no signs of stopping.

Abby Miller



Abby Miller is a 12-year-old musician who collects donations for 4-year-old Taylor Love, who suffers from neuroblastoma, a form of cancer affecting the nervous system. Most contributions come the old fashioned way– from playing on the street with a contribution bucket nearby. All funds go to help Taylor’s family with medical expenses. Passersby typically note Abby’s talent and drop in a few bucks, wondering why a young kid would be singing in the street on a cold day. Few notice she’s singing for a cause greater than herself.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Bodybuilding Dumbest Things

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Lifting weights, when combined with proper diet and cardiovascular exercise, is a recipe for good physical and mental heath. But when it is taken to the extreme, it can get seriously stupid. Here are the dumbest things about bodybuilding.

Muscle Heads


Lifting weights, when combined with proper diet and cardiovascular exercise, is a recipe for good physical and mental heath. But when it is taken to the extreme, it can get seriously stupid. Here are the ten dumbest things about bodybuilding.

It Makes You Look Like A Space Alien


If you're a bodybuilder, the character from Total Recall you most resemble should be the one Arnold Schwarzenegger plays. It shouldn't be Kuato, the foam rubber beast that bursts from the chest of a rebel leader.

Paint Rollers Aren't For People


This gentleman is being "bronzed." You know, like baby shoes. That can't be healthy.

It's Just Too Much


Big muscles are sexy. Looking like you have forcibly inserted a bowling pin under the skin of your arm is too much.

Medals For Normal People Look Silly On You


If you finally win a medal and it looks like somebody peeled the sticker off a banana and stuck it to your freakish chest, maybe you've gone too far.

Orange Gym Lockers Look Healthier Than Your Skin


Why would you put something on your body that looks like that funky chocolate sauce that instantly turns into a hard shell when it hits the ice cream? Even Snooki wouldn't go that far.

The Opposite Sex Makes Fun Of You


Many people start lifting weights as a response to being mocked for being a weakling in high school. But if you're just going to get mocked for having too many muscles, why not spare yourself the heavy lifting?

The Temptation Of Steroids


We don't know if this gentleman pictured here is a steroid user, but certainly performance enhancing drugs run rampant in the bodybuilding communities, and they can pose a serious health risk.

It's Excessively Image Conscious


It's easy to think of bodybuilders as fitness nuts, but in reality, image trumps health for many participants in the sport, if you want to call it that.

Protein Can Kill


The culture of weightlifting often praises excess and many people take far too much protein into their bodies, which can lead to excessive stress on the kidneys as the body attempts to process it all.

Everybody Dies


One of mankind's greatest fears is watching their bodies decay and erode with age. But while exercise is great and can make you feel good, moderation is important as well.

Famous Comedy Teams

Some of these groups had decades long runs, while others only were together for a short period of time; regardless of their length together, each of these groups has had a profound impact on modern comedy. From our TV and movie shows to what we're watching from small-time groups on YouTube.

The Three Stooges


The legendary vaudeville act The Three Stooges killed audiences for over 30 years. Moe, Larry, Curly and sometimes Shemp, took their act from the bawdy halls to the silver screen in shorts and movies during the boom of the cinema. Starring in legendary comedies like Time Out for Rhythm and their famous short films like You Nazty Spy!, The Stooges had a near-unparalleled act.

The Three Stooges are getting a movie remake this week courtesy of The Farrelly Brothers. The movie stars Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes and Will Sasso in the roles of Moe, Larry and Curly respectively.

Monty Python


Monty Python, as a group, has influenced and informed the vast majority of comedy we experience today, including much of the comedic talents on this very list. Without their influence, we wouldn't have South Park, Saturday Night Live, The Kids in the Hall, The Simpsons, The Daily Show (and by extension The Colbert Report) and any number of comedic groups, comedy TV shows and comedy movies.

While known mostly for their landmark TV show Monty Python's Flying Circus, the group also produced Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Monty Python's Life of Brian and Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Any one of those movies on its own would win the group a spot in the comedy hall of fame.

The State


The State might be known less for their time on the cult MTV show The State from 1993-1995 and more from what they've done since. The group formed at NYU in the late 80s and after performing locally, got a deal with MTV to produce a sketch comedy show; after three seasons at MTV the group tried to branch out, but had a flop when they hit CBS's airwaves for a Halloween Special show. The group never officially broke up, but they scattered to the wind. Members of the group would go on to write, direct or star in a number of beloved comedy TV shows and movies, including: Reno 911!, Stella, Hot Wet American Summer, Children's Hospital, Party Down, Michael and Michael Have Issues, Reaper, The Ten, Role Models, and Night At The Museum, among plenty of others.

Christopher Guest and Gang


Christopher Guest is responsible for bringing together some of the greatest improv comedic talents in a series of mockumentaries, including: This is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind and For Your Consideration. That list of movies alone makes him and his merry gang legendary.

The Kids in the Hall


Besides Celine Deon, Canada's greatest cultural contribution would be SCTV, but third would be the five man sketchy comedy group The Kids in the Hall. The young group was groundbreaking at the time and over the course of five seasons delivered some incredible moments and characters. Following their original show's run, the group produced the movie Brain Candy in 1996. All members of the group worked on side projects and other careers until they reformed for the 2010 mini-series Death Comes to Town.

Cheech and Chong


Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong have always been wildly popular, but never moreso than in the 70s and 80s when their group was prolific with comedy album releases, stand up shows and movies. The duo are best known for their stoner humor in movies like 1978's Up in Smoke and 1981's Nice Dreams. The pair split in the 80s and have had an on-again, off-again partnership since.

Abbott and Costello


Bud Abbott and Lou Costello are one of the proto comedy teams that other groups have fashioned themselves after. As Abbott and Costello, the group was wildly popular with bits like the legendary "Who's On First?" and their series of successful crossover films with the Universal monsters. Through the 1940s and 50s, Abbott and Costello made the transition from radio to film and later TV and kept audiences laughing the whole way.


Martin and Lewis


After Abbott and Costello came Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis as the team Martin and Lewis. From 1946 until 1956, the pair dominated radio, TV and movies with Martin as the straight guy and Lewis as the comedic foil.

Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright


Together, this British trio has been responsible for the TV show Spaced and so-called The Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy, which includes Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and the upcoming The World's End.

Laurel and Hardy


Of the classic age of movies, there was no stronger comedy duo than Laurel and Hardy. The pair perfected on-screen slapstick humor with their series of over 100 shorts and feature length films. The Englishman Stan Laurel and American Oliver Hardy first came together as a team in the late 1920s and came to prominence at the end of the silent film era. The pair made the transition to sound and continued their comedic styling until the 1950s.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone


Not only are Trey Parker and Matt Stone content in having a mega hit TV show, or blockbuster puppet movies, no, they also want to destroy Broadway with raw humor. This team may be best known for their Comedy Central defining master work South Park, but their movies like Orgazmo, BASEketball, Team America and their new Broadway hit The Book of Mormon cement them as one of the best modern comedy teams. Trey Parker handles the majority of the writing for the group, but the team wouldn't work without Matt Stone; together the group have had hit after hit for over 20 years. There's something to be said about staying power.

Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor


The unlikely comedic team of performer Gene Wilder and comedian Richard Pryor came together in 1976's Silver Streak and over the years reappeared with degrees of success in Stir Crazy (1980), See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) and Another You (1991). The odd pair have a strange chemistry with one another; they are one of the earliest interracial comedy teams, even if they were never an official group that worked together outside of these films.

Chris Farley and David Spade


This pair burned brightly, but for too short a time. In classic films like Tommy Boy and Black Sheep the physical comedy of Chris Farley balanced well with the sarcastic humor of David Spade. The duo would have enjoyed a long series of movies together if not for the untimely death of Farley in 1997.